Does Your Dad Display Any Of These Classic Traits?
To us, our dads and father-figures are one of a kind – no one could truly replace them. That being said, there seems to be a phenomenon of sorts that occurs once a man transcends to the next stage of his life and becomes a parent.
These men start unconsciously adopting traits and habits that separate them from the rest of us mere mortals. It cannot be helped, and it will happen sooner or later. It’s not a case of if, but when.
I am, of course, talking about the transformation into your ‘classic dad’.
You may be thinking, “classic dad? What’s he on about?” Well, strap in as I bestow the revelation upon you. While you’re there, how many of these can your old man tick off his list?
The Habits And Traits Of Our Classic Dad
Socks & Sandals
A controversial aesthetic but the bread and butter for any outfit donned by the classic dad. A completely unacceptable look for anyone else; the sock and sandals combination seems to be the unofficial coat of arms for dad’s everywhere. It’s a rallying cry that screams ‘I’ve got kids and strong opinions!’
Loving The Dog More Than Anyone Else
Dogs truly are man’s best friend – particularly in the case of this man. Ironically, it was probably dad who put up the biggest fight about getting the dog in the first place – “another hole in my pocket”; “who’s going to walk it everyday, you??” ; “they’ll be hair everywhere!”
Fast forward a year and the pair are inseparable, like Dick Dastardly and Muttley. If he hasn’t said it, his actions will confirm that he most likely loves the dog more than you.
You know, the one where the conversation goes quiet for a moment, dad slaps his hand down on his thigh, says ‘right!’ and pushes himself to his feet to indicate he’s probably about to leave, before curtly saying his goodbyes. This may not be as prevalent in other parts of the world, but in the UK it’s the only way for a dad to take his leave.
Not Listening To Any Music Past 1983
Ok, who can really blame him for this one? While I may actually agree with our classic dad on this for the most part, it’s the passion in which he condemns anything post-Guns n’ Roses as ‘absolute rubbish’ (to put it lightly, in some cases).
Just because 4 minute guitar solos are no longer prevalent in popular music, and most composition is done on a computer, it doesn’t necessarily take away from the value of the music; but try having that conversation with your classic dad. Which leads nicely to my next point…
The ‘Back In My Day…’ Response
Growing up is hard in any era, but particularly when technology, the economy and social values are evolving at a rate too quick for anyone to keep up with, let alone when your formative years are certainly behind you. It’s for that reason we give our classic dad a bit of leeway with this one.
When confronted with an opinion or a cultural shift typical of the modern age, our classic dad can struggle to grasp the concept, and announce how ‘back in my day [effectively, things were different]’. Don’t worry classic dad, let’s all just try and understand.
Dad Jokes; durr!
What rundown of classic dad traits would be complete without mentioning the absolute zenith of dad-dom?! There’s varying degrees of severity when it comes to this very specific form of ‘comedy’, and if you’re not careful you’ll find yourself blurting out his golden go-to’s waaaay before your time.
Some personal favourites are:
“What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.”
“My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much.”
“Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.”
“My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe…”
Doing Nothing At The BBQ, Then Taking All The Credit For The BBQ
‘Doing nothing’ might be a bit harsh, if I’m being honest. Our classic dad will most likely position himself right next to the barbecue with tongs in one hand and beer in the other; turning the meat and whatever other goodies you’ve got grilling when the time comes.
This is after your mum: organised the day; sent out invites; checked numbers; laid out the tables, cutlery and drinks; greeted everyone; prepared the salads; and before she took all the barbecued bits from the grill over to the table; AND washed it all up at the end. All the while dad gets compliments on how great the barbecue is.
What Would We Do Without Dads?
Now I know I’ve been poking fun at our classic patriarch for a lot of this post, but behind the light-hearted jests is a very serious appreciation for all dads and father figures out there; typical or otherwise.
They support and guide us throughout our lives, teach us right from wrong and protect us with a fierceness only a parent could understand. We may not always see eye to eye, but at the end of the day we love them entirely for who they are, as they love us.
P.s. I hope any dads reading this post have only found it to be a source of laughter, and not a terrible realisation.